A Little Roleplay
July 10, 2009
Peephole – System of a Down – (self-titled)
You Make Me Feel Like a Whore – Everclear – Sparkle and Fade
Over and Out – Foo Fighters – In Your Honor
I’m Designer – Queens of the Stone Age – Era Vulgaris
South Bound Saurez – Led Zeppelin – In Through the Out Door
Till the Morning Comes – Neil Young – After the Gold Rush
Shame – System of a Down & Wu-Tang Clan – Loud Rocks
No. 13 Baby – Pixies – Doolittle
Good Times, Bad Times – Led Zeppelin – Led Zeppelin I
Far Pavilions – … And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead – The Century of Self
I checked the hallway through the peephole before I eased the door open and ventured out into the hallway. Unlike you, I really don’t have anything to hide, but you make me feel like a whore in church with your constant admonitions that no one find us out. At least this time you let me use the hallway instead of the balcony, going over and out into the night from the second floor is great practice for my second career as a cat burglar, but completely unnecessary. Especially in shoes like this. “I’m designer” they shout as they rip into my feet walking down south bound Saurez Boulevard back to my car, parked a discreet 3 miles away. You’ll stay in the room till the morning comes, fighting your shame.
“Here comes No. 13 Baby!” you shouted as the 20-sided die spun out of your hand. It clattered to a stop showing a seven – and your troll died a grisly death. It’s really sad how often this happens, strategy has never been a strong point for you, always relying on a single roll to determine if good times, bad times, or disaster will befall your army. Last night was especially poor, your lead troll was killed while still in view of your home country’s camp, his anguished screams heard by all except those in the far pavilions at the rear. Soon they too would be demoralized by tales of my decisive victory. We really have to work on your gameplay before anyone else is allowed to see it.
Leading Off
July 6, 2009
Denard Span has without question been the Twins best leadoff hitter and one of the reasons often cited for that is the fact that he sees a lot of pitches early in the game and forces the pitcher to show all of their pitches so the other hitters know what they are up against. The fact that Span is more patient when leading off the game is pretty indisputable.
| Stat | Leading Off | Other | Total |
| PA | 66 | 243 | 309 |
| Pitches/PA | 4.38 | 3.86 | 3.97 |
| 0-strike | 2 (3%) | 54* (22%) | 56* (18%) |
| 2-strike | 35 (53%) | 98 (40%) | 133 (43%) |
| Full | 11 (17%) | 32 (13%) | 43 (14%) |
* – includes 4 plate appearances without a strike thrown (3 four-pitch walks and a HBP)
He sees a significantly larger number of pitches in the first inning than his other at-bats (of course a small sample caveat has to be applied to this whole exercise). He waits for the first strike almost every time when leading off (as opposed to putting the first strike in play more than 1 in 5 times otherwise) and gets to two-strike counts in over half of his first inning plate appearances.
But it seems like he may be taking the patient approach to the point where it is detrimental to his production.
| Stat | Leading Off | Other | Total |
| PA | 66 | 243 | 309 |
| BA | .211 | .312 | .291 |
| OBP | .318 | .395 | .379 |
| SLG | .228 | .427 | .384 |
| OPS | .546 | .822 | .763 |
A .546 OPS is nearing Punto (2007 version) territory and it’s clearly not reflective of the hitter that Span is. It’s nigh impossible to calculate the effect the extra pitches seen have on the rest of the lineup, but it is at least a disturbing pattern for the Twins leadoff man. More 2-strike counts will depress anyone’s numbers and it seems to me, the Twins would be better served if Span focused less on maximizing the number of pitches he sees, and more on putting the ball in play when he has the best chance for success, which seems to be earlier in the at-bat for him.
Beat the Streak
July 6, 2009
| YESTERDAY (7/06) |
STREAK | TODAY (7/07) |
Bobby Abreu (1 for 3, 2B) |
Current Streak – 2 Longest Streak – 18 T. Helton |
Nick Johnson |
Bang On!
July 5, 2009
Banks and banks of humming machinery. I’ve never seen so many knobs. We’re going to have to do something Charlie, try pushing that button there.
No.
How about that one?
No, not that one either.
I know, I’ll try pushing this one. Hold my hat, would you? There’s a good fellow.
Going Dark
June 27, 2009
The big move is happening this weekend, right now our house is a mess of boxes and bubble wrap. Being that we’ve shut off our internet service, and my normal guest blogger is going to be even more drugged up than usual (the cats don’t travel well), I’m going on hiatus for a week or two whilst I get settled in Kansas and finish up here in Chicago.
I’m not planning on giving up the Ghost (get it?) so I should be back once everything is relatively normal.
Until then,
Big Mak
Seven Figures
June 26, 2009
New Music
 |
The Giraffes – (Self-titled) - A louder, harder version of Queens of the Stone Age. I like it OK, but nothing special or groundbreaking here. |
Random Ten Songs
Hell – Foo Fighters – In Your Honor
Split Myself in Two – Meat Puppets – Meat Puppets II
Almost Cut My Hair – Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young – Deja Vu
Enough Space – Foo Fighters – The Colour and the Shape
Sun Will Set – Zoe Keating – One Cello x 16: Natoma
Tissue No. 2 – Wendy Sutter – Songs and Poems for Solo Cello (composed by Philip Glass, from the Naqoyqatsi soundtrack)
Miranda That Ghost Isn’t Holy Anymore – The Mars Volta – Frances the Mute
Song III – Wendy Sutter – Songs and Poems for Solo Cello (composed by Philip Glass)
90 Hour Sleep – Dredg – Live at the Fillmore
Weenie Beenie – Foo Fighters – (self-titled)
A triple shot of Foo Fighters with a cello interlude. I’ll take it.
Random Ten Story
MIRANDA) Hell is trying to please everyone all the time. I’m stretched so many ways I feel like I’m going to split myself in two, it feels like I’m in ‘The Pit and the Pendulum’, with everyone’s expectations swinging closer with each pass. This afternoon the blade is close enough to almost cut my hair. I’ve worked all day on [Person No. 2]’s requests. If I’m lucky, I’ll have enough space in my schedule to get to [Person III]’s list before tonight. I know the sun will set before I go home tonight because if I don’t get it done I’ll hear it from both of them and Mr. Beenan. I’m sorry, now I’m crying from the stress, could I get a tissue?
No. 2) Ridiculous, it’s always the same story from her. I know we’re all supposed to feel terrible for the martyr over there, but I’ve got news for Miranda. That ghost isn’t holy anymore, you’ve pulled this crap out so often that no one buys it anymore. It’s just the same old song.
III) I’m not sure she’s faking it this time though, she looks like she could use a good 90 hour sleep. Of course I could say the same for myself, everyone works hard around here. That’s the joy of working for ‘Weenie Beenie‘. Can’t beat the pay though, seven figures heals a lot of wounds.
MIRANDA) Seven figures? You make seven figures!?
No. 2) Great. You shouldn’t have let that slip. There she goes. Now someone else is going to have to do all of this drudgery. Looks like a long night for you.
Series Preview in Blog: St. Louis Cardinals
June 26, 2009
St. Louis is currently in first place in the NL Central, one game up on the Brewers. They are returning from a 4-3 road trip, where they swept the Royals before losing 3 of 4 to the Mets. The Cards have a pretty good home record (21-16) while the Twins road record is still looking to climb back to respectability
Cards manager Tony LaRussa has long been famous for his myriad pitching changes, constantly bringing in new relievers to exploit matchups. Apparently this year, he has found a new toy, the late game defensive replacement. The switches have become so regular and prevalent that a new statistic, the fielding save, has been invented to keep track of it. Fortunately for those of us who tend to leave games early if they take too long, LaRussa hasn’t had to worry about the ninth inning at all this year. His closer, Ryan Franklin has been a most pleasant surprise for the Cardinals (although it’s the kind of surprise that shouldn’t be discussed lest it fall victim to Heisenberg’s Principle of Uncertainty and be altered merely by a fan’s observance of it).
Beat the Streak
June 26, 2009
| YESTERDAY (6/25) |
STREAK | TODAY (6/26) |
Adrian Gonzalez (1 for 3) |
Current Streak – 1 Longest Streak – 18 A. Gonzalez |
Brandon Phillips |
Our Last Trip to Beloit
June 25, 2009
Due to our impending move to Kansas, catching Snappers games is about to become a lot more difficult just due to sheer distance. Thus, we took advantage last weekend and took in the last game of the first half of the season for Beloit against the Quad Cities River Bandits (Cardinals A affiliate).
This was doubly exciting because earlier in the week Aaron Hicks had been called up to take a spot on the roster. I was hoping to get a chance to see him play this year before I left, and he made it just in time.
Wrigley Field – Twins v. Cubs (Yes, It Was a While Ago)
June 24, 2009
Series Preview in Blog: Milwaukee Brewers
June 23, 2009
The Brewers did the Twins no favors, getting swept by the Tigers this weekend. How are the Twins supposed to catch the Tigers if they keep staying above .500?
You say they could win enough games that they too will be above .500? You mean more than one game above .500? That sounds too scary, I’m cool with the Twins strategy this season – we’ll be at .500 and wait for the rest of the division to come to us.
–PROBABLE PITCHERS–
The Brewers starters have been really poor recently, almost across the board. Luckily for the Twins, they will be missing Yovanni Gallardo (I think), the one hurler who’s actually been pitching well for the Crew. Couple that with the fact that the Brewers are right near the top of the NL Central as trade speculation season begins and that the guys being called on to step into the lineup, like Casey McGehee and Mat Gamel, are doing remarkably well, and you’ve got a ton of posts about the potential starting pitchers Milwaukee could be interested in. Not only that, apparently Erik Bedard and Doug Davis have stated their case as to why the Milwaukee front office should target them, the card that Bedard made is awfully persuasive.
Liriano v. J. Suppan
Suppan has been about what you would expect from him at this point – nothing spectacularly good or bad, but serviceable.
Blackburn v. B. Looper
Looper had a very good start to the year, but he has quickly regressed and become part of the rotation-wide struggles for the Brewers.
??? v. ???
It should be Slowey here for Minnesota but MLB.com has Baker. For the Brewers, it’s Dave Bush’s turn in the rotation, but he’s been so bad lately that the word is he’s suffering from arm fatigue. So, manager Ken Macha (who may be the best personality on the Brewers. Really? The manager?) deciding whether or not to skip him this time around, a decision made harder by the struggles of the other starters to pitch effectively.
Beat the Streak
June 23, 2009
| YESTERDAY (6/22) |
STREAK | TODAY (6/23) |
Albert Pujols (1 for 4, 2B) |
Current Streak – 0 Longest Streak – 18 I. Kinsler |
Chipper Jones (0 for 3, BB) |
For All The Marbles [Updated]
June 22, 2009
Big game today. The Skokie Rec League Hockey championship pitting the undefeated Nunavut Sled Dogs (that’s me) against the challengers, Macon Whoopee (seriously). I have to admit I’m a little nervous, we were assigned the black jerseys, so I can’t shake the feeling that we’re the villains of a Mighty Ducks movie and that the whole undefeated season was just a set-up for the dramatic reversal of fortune in the championship. Wish me luck!
[UPDATE: In your face plucky upstart team! Victory is ours!]
Random 10 Story: Lost Job
June 20, 2009
“ALL RIGHT! LET’S GO! HYPERPOWER!!!”
Before Nate or Billy realized where he was, the four year old hurricane had leaped from the table to the floor and sprinted past Nate, who was laying out his seventh game of solitaire, and with arms spread wide soared off to the uncharted wilderness of the living room, oblivious to the newly overturned pile of cards he left behind him. Nate began reordering the cards into a neat stack, shot Billy a dirty look and asked if he could leave.
“No, man. You have to stay.” Billy pleaded, “You need this money, and it’s hard enough to convince people to hire you in the first place, let alone re-elect the deadbeat moron who left in the middle of the morning while he was supposed to be watching their darling.”
On cue, the darling disaster came hurtling back through the dining room. He had picked up a candlestick and was using it as a sword to torment his supposed caretakers. He stopped in the middle of the room, where the sunlight fell through the window. Posing in the golden section of the room, candlestick raised, he prepared to launch into his familiar refrain.
“ALL RIGHT! LET’S GO! HYPERPOWER!!!”
And he was off.
“Next time you call and say ‘meet me in the morning’, I’m going back to bed.” Nate shook his head and returned to the card game. Billy was looking over his shoulder, about to point out the red eight he could play on a black nine, when a horrific crash came from the living room. Nate actually got there first, and in a horrified whisper informed Billy, “We’ve got a bleeder.”
Really it was an almost insignificant cut to the forehead, but it was enough that it required a few minutes of pressure with a towel to stop the blood. Nate did not take this well. “Thanks for setting up this job, this is going to work out just great! Remind me never to have you set me up on a blind date, I’d probably end up with a hooker with a penis!” With the flow of blood stopped, the child rocketed away from Billy, chanting a new favorite phrase, “Hooker with a penis! Hooker with a penis! Hooker with a penis!”
This was the scene the parents came home to, their blood-smeared darling running around looking like he survived an attack by an axe-murderer, shouting a borderline obscene phrase as he trotted from room to room. Just to get the whole picture, to really bring it on home; occasionally he would pass by a shellshocked duo of would-be babysitters holding the couple’s best towels soaked in their child’s blood.
Lectures ensued. Blah, blah, blah, we put our trust in you, blah, blah, blah. Nate would later say he would rather eat a sandwich of razor blades than go back into that house. Fortunately, he never had to.
Ten Songs Picked At Random
June 19, 2009
Real quick post because I was out late last night (on a school night!). Enjoy!
HYPERPOWER! – Nine Inch Nails – Year Zero
Stack Shot Billy – Black Keys – Rubber Factory
Elect the Dead – Serj Tankian – Elect the Dead
The Golden Section – Coil – Horse Rotorvator
Meet Me In the Morning – Bob Dylan – Blood On the Tracks
Bleeder – Nothingface – Violence
Hooker With a Penis – Tool – Aenima
Bring It On Home – Led Zeppelin – Led Zeppelin II
Trust in You – The Offspring – Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace
Razor – Foo Fighters – In Your Honor
Maybe a story will appear here later. Maybe not.
