Write the worst opening line for a novel that you can think of.
Delayed 48 minutes, a train pulled into a station where a crowd reminded Calvin of sex offender locator maps of his childhood neighborhood: containing people he didn’t want to meet.
K: The exact length of the delay is a nice bit of uninteresting explanation, and using such a strong subject to make such a thin comparison is the stuff of bad-writing legend.
4 out of 5 points
B: This sentence is so bad grammatically (intentional, I presume) that it’s hard to find it amusing. Still, it does feel like a tragically awful novel is yet to come.
3 out of 5 points
Trying to get this under 30 words did me no favors in the realm of intelligibility, but even so, this wasn’t quite as good as last year’s entry. 3.5 is a nice solid middle of the road score though. Maybe I’ll stay under the radar for a while this time…
As always, the contest begins with a story told in exactly 59 words.
Trevor shoveled until the hole was complete. Now he had to figure out how to fill it. Boss’s self-contradicting command “Kill the snitch and bury him in the desert,” rang in his ears as his gun fired. As Trevor’s body fell into the hole, the elaborate pulley system began to tilt the sand down around him. Job well done.
KELLY: Wow…Trevor is one loyal dude. I won’t forget this one.
5 out of 5 points
BEAU: Elaborate pulley system. Love it! Unfortunately, “self-contradicting” gives this one away maybe a split second before it should, but it is totally saved by the ending. Job well done, indeed!
In fact, this entry rated as my favorite this week.
5 out of 5 points
Off to a good start. This one fell together nicely as I wrote it (my first draft was only 67 words, pretty easy to shave it down). Trevor is one loyal snitch all right, I had some backstory in mind that might have made sense of that particular dichotomy, but I only had 59 words, so the world will never know.
The entire editorial staff here at Daneeka’s Ghost is participating yet again in Spookymilk Survivor. As has happened previously, I will repost my entries here after they have been judged, for all my interested readers to comment upon. Soon there will be a link to all of my entries for this round of Survivor on the sidebar (much like the ones for the Facebook and WGOM versions already residing there).
Here we go.
[EDIT – here’s the link to the page with all entries – Writing Survivor: 3rd Edition]