Survivor X: Challenge 1 – Fiction 59

The latest Spookymilk Survivor season is upon us! As always the first challenge was to write a short story in exactly 59 words:

I stopped to lean against this wall.
My wall.
Instantly, I felt trembling upon my touch.
My wall will fall.
I’m compelled to stay, lend my supportive hands.
My wall.
Breaking contact condemns it to destruction.
My wall will fall.
My hands bleed as the wall fights to come down.
My wall.
I let go.
My wall will fall.

K: This is high concept, and I’m sorry to say after a few reads it hasn’t given me that moment of A-HA yet. I get that the wall is actually weakened by our lead character, but I don’t know why. Are we in a bad relationship here? I’m going to be annoyed when I find out what I missed, I hope.

3 points out of 5

DK: I’m kind of teetering on the balance between 4 and 5 with this one; it doesn’t quite hit a perfect emotional response for me, but I want to generally reward out of the box/original thinking on these standard Spookymilk challenges that achieve as much success as this one does with a different approach.

5 points out of 5

I love this new judge! With regards to the entry iteslf, the poem-like repetitive structure was the interesting part to me.  I’m glad that neither judge thought it detracted from the story.  But what was it all about?  The original idea was about obsession, and how you can grab hold onto something and refuse to be distracted from it.  I couldn’t get the impact that I wanted out in 59 words though (also, there was no good ending to that – the narrator would just keep leaning on the wall).  So then the ending that works is what?  He has to let the wall fall, he doesn’t want to let go of this idea, doesn’t want it to fall down, but in the end it’s the only way to make it work. It kind of ended up being a story about itself.

So, there is about 100 words to explain a 59-word story.   Hopefully future entries won’t require proportional explanation.

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