CW Survivor – Challenge 11: You’re So Vain

Choose an iconic song.  Explain where the lyrics really came from.


The robot is complete. I’ve written the startup and mission commands into a song that I have passed on to John as we agreed (I even disguised it as Paul’s idea just in case). The Jealously Unforgiving Device for Enemies will be activated to receive commands with a simple “Hey J.U.D.E.” Finally, we won’t have to listen to those sad songs that he’s always writing since Yoko came around. Once it “takes her into its heart” and disposes of her, things will start to get better.

This thing was made to find her, and once it has found her, to go out, get her, and completely consume her so that the body will be hidden under its skin. It’s the perfect plan, I defy anyone to make it better. We could never get a human to do this, but a robot will never feel the weight of this horrible (but necessary) act on its shoulders.

The best part is that I’ve written the commands such that the robot will be completely autonomous. Once it’s directed to begin its mission, there is language in the commands which make it clear that it should not expect any further assistance from anyone. On the off chance that we need to abort the mission once it has been initiated, there is one fail safe command. It is a complicated sequence of nonsense syllables that would take about four minutes to fully verbalize. Thus I can’t see how they would ever inadvertently make it into a pop song.

We must convince John to record the song quickly, so that after its release, some unknowing teenager will trigger the robot making it almost impossible to track the scheme back to us. This plan is too important to fail, the fate of our musical careers rest on the ability of this robot to perform its designated task.

This will work. It has to.


K: This is one of those instances where I have no idea how to do the challenge right until a player shows me how it’s done. It actually makes a twisted sort of sense while also getting in some warranted digs on the most tediously long string of “na” in the history of song (and if it isn’t, please don’t link me to something that’s worse).

6 points out of 6

B: The J.U.D.E. device is kind of funny, but the tie-ins to actual song lyrics are a bit forced (other than the fail safe command, which made me smirk). Also, the plot is ridiculously complex. That’s not a problem in itself, but it feels less like a joke than the author slapping a plot together at the last minute. Either way, I think we’ve had enough Ringo for this competition, eh?

You know what, the second time I read this I like it a lot more.

5 points out of 6

This kind of thing is kind of right up my alley (particularly since Kelly seems partial to my brand of absurdity).  This was not my original idea for this song (initially I was going to ascribe different meanings to each of the “na na na na na na na” lines), but once I started writing everything out, this pretty quickly became the idea that flowed the best. (Yes, Beau’s comments are kind of odd, but he was fried from a bunch of other stuff, so I’m not going to give him too hard of a time.)

Our team was the highest scoring this week, so we continue on with 6 of the remaining 11 players.

3 thoughts on “CW Survivor – Challenge 11: You’re So Vain

  1. I still think the tie-ins to verbatim lyrics seem forced, but the concept is strong and the fail safe command bit is so awesome that it makes up for it. I’m glad I gave it the score I did.

    • And for me, a tiny bit forced was much better than no attempt to marry lyric and story at all, which was a tactic taken by many players.

    • By odd, I didn’t mean that your criticisms were invalid, rather that the about-face from the first (critical) paragraph to the (good) score was surprising.

      I think your criticisms are valid. But the way I interpreted the challenge (use the lyrics to tell a different story than the accepted interpretation) some forced language was pretty unavoidable (well, unless one were to spend much more time on it than I did).

      I too am glad that you decided on the score that you did. I know you aren’t offended by my comment, and that certainly wasn’t my intention. I’m almost never critical of the judges here, (don’t see the point), but I’m always interested in what you guys (or anyone else) thought of the entry.

      Thanks for your extended thoughts.

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