CW Survivor – Challenge 5: Dewey Defeats Truman

Take a news story and write one as if something else (the opposite, or at least very different) happened.

POLIO DEVELOPS JONAS SALK VACCINE

The polio virus announced today that it had developed a vaccine that rendered those who were inoculated immune to Jonas Salk.  Viri that had received the infusion of dead cells harvested from the leading medical researcher’s dry, flaky scalp reported no instances of death by Salk.

“While it is interesting that they are aware of the principles of vaccination,” commented Dr. Maurice Hilleman (human), “it is important to point out that Jonas Salk doesn’t kill polio viruses, immune systems primed by immunogens generated by exposure to inactive contagions kill polio viruses.”

Although acknowledging that the news has “gone human” among the viral community, spokesvirus Tetanus quickly clamped its jaws shut when asked what further advances humans would see from viral scientists.

K: When I posted this challenge I said I didn’t know what the best entries would look like. Well, now I do. This one grabbed me with the headline and never let go.

5 points out of 5

B: Okay, this is the first one to literally make me laugh out loud. From the headline to “spokesvirus Tetanus,” this one kills all the way through.

5 points out of 5

This came from an initial thought of “Jonas Salk discovery first step toward eradicating water polo” – which seemed so straightforward that I was surprised that a Google search turned up no other fake news stories using that joke.  Maybe I’ll send it to The Onion…

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