Write the worst opening line for a novel that you can think of.
Delayed 48 minutes, a train pulled into a station where a crowd reminded Calvin of sex offender locator maps of his childhood neighborhood: containing people he didn’t want to meet.
K: The exact length of the delay is a nice bit of uninteresting explanation, and using such a strong subject to make such a thin comparison is the stuff of bad-writing legend.
4 out of 5 points
B: This sentence is so bad grammatically (intentional, I presume) that it’s hard to find it amusing. Still, it does feel like a tragically awful novel is yet to come.
3 out of 5 points
Trying to get this under 30 words did me no favors in the realm of intelligibility, but even so, this wasn’t quite as good as last year’s entry. 3.5 is a nice solid middle of the road score though. Maybe I’ll stay under the radar for a while this time…