CW Survivor Archives – Challenge 10 – Onion Article

Write an Onion article which refers to a significant disaster.

Interview with the Killer – Iceberg claims ‘Titanic started it’

“It was spring, so I was on my annual migration south to melt with this cute piece of ice I met in Greenland last winter, and suddenly, I felt something brush up against me.”

Initially fearing a pickpocket, Ignatius C. Berg was perturbed. “The north Atlantic has become a little bit rougher the past couple of years. You used to be able to float near anywhere up here without having to watch your back. I guess I shouldn’t have been out that late at night, but old habits die hard, you know.”

In this case it wasn’t a pickpocket, but rather the ill-fated ocean liner, that sank and resulted in the deaths of many of its passengers and crew.
“I should have figured, since icebergs don’t carry wallets.”

“I’m just worried that this will color people’s perceptions of icebergs in general. I’m not out seeking trouble, but this happened, and I can’t undo it.”

The apologies sound sincere, but it’s hard to look at Ignatius and not see a cold, frozen heart. When questioned about his icy demeanor, his voice went frosty.

“Always remember, Icebergs are more than what you see on the surface.”

SPOOKY’s THOUGHTS: Whoa, dig those crazy puns! “I should have figured, since icebergs don’t carry wallets” was right up there with my favorite lines this week. It’s cute enough, but the first two still seem to have more in common with that Onion spirit – making fun of everyone in sight.

Yep, except for the headline, it was not very Onion-y.   And there were some other dynamite entries, particularly by the one dude who wasn’t in our alliance.  So since he had immunity it came down to a coin flip betwixt myself and another ally.  The flip went in my favor, so it was on to the final challenge.

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