CW Survivor Archives – Challenge 6 – Book Jacket

Write the inside book jacket cover for the Sears Catalog, the Bible, or the Dictionary.  I chose the latter two.

Literary giants always possess remarkable ability to create using letters, but with ‘The Dictionary’, readers will discover an entirely new level of wordsmithing. (n. – adventurous written banter from the minds behind ‘The Thesaurus’, last year’s runaway bestseller.)

Ignoring the conventions of fiction, the authors strike a new path toward their own literary movement, only now coming to be known as defination. (n. – avant garde storytelling that holds each word of this gargantuan epic up to the light and doesn’t leave it alone until it is thoroughly weighed, measured, and delineated.)

While the size is impressive and the layout is extraordinary, the most striking attribute of this volume is its ability to summarate. (v. – the whole of english literature is easily viewed as a mere restating of words presented in this book.)

Overall, ‘The Dictionary’ becomes an uncompromising destruction of literature, reveling in the profound impact of the single word, like procurementation. (n. – the act of buying this book.)

I was kind of disappointed this didn’t win.  I really liked this entry. I spent a fair amount of time coming up with the defined words that weren’t actually in the dictionary to add an extra level. Ah well, that’s not a complaint about the judging, just a sigh of regret that at least one other entry was better.

As the first book off the Gutenberg press The Bible has been seen as a collector’s item, but it has value beyond a trophy on the bookshelf of a rare-book connoisseur. It is also one of the best-known motivational books in history. It has motivated people to change their lives, leave their homes, start wars, all kinds of crazy shit. Basically you just decide what it is you want, and The Bible can back you up! It’s genius!
Included with this edition are legions of followers who reinforce the perception that this book can do no wrong. Thus, no matter how outrageous your claim, when it comes from The Bible it automatically has weight.
With over a hundred parables for easy and creative interpretation, The Bible will help you influence and impress others with your faith. You won’t believe how easy it is!

This was some quick and dirty blasphemy thrown together in about 3 minutes.  Not surprised it didn’t win.

No immunity again this week.  Yet another challenge decided by a non-submission.  Yawn.

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